Call Me By Your Name: a review

I don't recall ever posting a movie (and in essence, a book) review on this page, but I saw this film over the weekend and was very moved by it.

I've long waited to see 'Call Me By Your Name.' I bought the book three years ago but for one reason or another, I did not get around to reading it until earlier this month, finishing it just last week. I loved it!

The film was initially released in November so I worried it would not come to town. Ever since I started looking, I could find no evidence it was to be slated to come here. I was happily surprised when it arrived here last Thursday.

The movie's screenplay admirably follows the book's plot and nuances. I think it rare that a movie is as good as its source material.

This is one of those cases where this is true. I'm not surprised, actually. The literate, moving script, written by James Ivory, captured the feel of the book. Ivory has a long history of film adaptations of some of the best-loved classic books (A Room With a View, Jefferson in Paris, Howard's End, and one of my favorites--Maurice).

The performers, Armie Hammer (Oliver), Timothée Chalamet (Elio), Michael Stuhlbarg (Elio's father), Amira Casar (Elio's mother), Esther Garrel (Marzia), and Victoire Du Bois (Chiara) were all perfectly cast.

But the film's success rests solely on the shoulders of Hammer and Chalamet. Both performances are perfectly suited for the characters and the film fulfilled all my hopes.

The film's plot surrounds a developing love 17-year-old Elio has for Oliver, his father's summer intern. This is a film of discovery and self-actualization. The lush Italian setting is as alluring as the plot and its characters.

The movie does not out and out state Oliver's age (the book states he is 24). If there is one weakness in the film is that 31-year old Hammer in no way looks 24. Nonetheless, I loved their performances.

Chalamet portrays a sensitive, intelligent teen to perfection. I liked Hammer's film Oliver better than the book. I felt he was a more caring, more in touch and just as mysterious as the book.

I heard a review last week saying that one should see the movie first and read the book after to get a better feel for the story. I have no opinion on that assertion as I felt the movie perfectly complimented the book.

Initially, this is a slow-moving film--intelligent and passionate but it builds up steam as their affair is realized and concludes in the only way it can.

I might state that the book has two endings. The first, as their summer affair ends and it concluding 20 some odd years later. I correctly predicted which ending the movie would choose and feel the filmmakers chose the correct path.

Rolling Stone called 'Call Me By Your Name' the sexiest film of 2017. I concur.

Go see the film if you want to see an expertly crafted coming of age love story. I rank this film up there with my favorite love story, Maurice (again helmed by James Ivory).

Ah, those freaky 1980s!

I'm going to tell a story on myself, a memory prompted by the comic photo above.

It reminds me of a night (although I failed to see the humor at the time) not long after I came out as a 24-year-old gay man. I was in the Seahorse II Cabaret, THE local gay bar back in 1982. 

Ah, those pesky 80s when the gay scene in South Bend was a lot less sedate than it is today.

I was very shy (still am in a bar setting). If you ever saw me in the bar back in that day you would have seen me plastered as close to the back wall as possible--trying to be invisible, a wallflower, if you will.

On this particular warm summer night, I was standing near the bar with a friend when this guy strutted in. He was in his 30s, kinda swarthy in appearance, and he was wearing black leather chaps (with a jockstrap), black boots and a harness (and nothing else). 

I was horrified.

Naturally, somehow this guy (and he was high on something) gravitated towards me. He stopped and began hanging on to the guy standing next to me (who also was high). They were giggling away and I tried to make my escape from the two of them but no...

Somehow they both lost their balance and fell onto me. We three tumbled to the floor with the two of them on top of me.

I recall that a friend of mine who was with me at the time, died laughing as I struggled, arms flailing about, trying to extract myself from the two of them.

After a lot of effort, I crawled away and tried to recover some semblance of normalcy.

To be frank, I am kinda surprised I ever went back to the Seahorse again after that little moment in time.

It's a beautiful day

I had one of those strangely satisfying--and very full--days today. As many of you know, Tuesdays are my day off from work so that I may volunteer at my church's food pantry. 

On Tuesdays (sometimes coinciding) I also participate with the local VA Center's gay veterans support group and in the evening also a Gay Men's group (of which I have served as the group's co-moderator since October 2009.

Today was odd in that I had to be the VA Clinic to give blood (and urine) in prep for my upcoming annual physical.

Up and at 'em and out the door before 7 a.m., I was. On the way there, I almost had an accident when a snow plow truck, coming from the opposite direction, decided to do a left turn right in front of me. I avoided a near head-on collision, not easy since the streets were icy slick and needless to say, it left me rather shaken.

Whew!

Next up, I gave blood and then--surprise of surprises--the nurse handed me a small canister for me to leave a urine deposit. Nice that I knew that was coming (not!) because had I known, my visit to the bathroom before leaving home would have gone entirely differently. So, here I was with a canister to fill and nothing to give... AND I could not leave until my mission complete. 

Drat.

So, after many visits to a water fountain and the on-site Starbucks, finally, I was able to do my business and permitted to leave... and then off I went to the food pantry.

Our pantry today was very busy. Since we were not open last Tuesday, due to subzero temps, we were paid in kind with nearly double our usual weekly intake of clients. Overall, it went very well, however, at one point, I and my intake colleague were faced with one of my biggest of pet peeves.... a client who couldn't be bothered to put down her precious cell phone long enough to conduct business.

When we merely observed this, she got argumentative, rude and belligerent. I don't normally get in people's faces, but as our food pantry's co-directors, I felt it necessary to remind this young lady that she was making an issue where none needed to have existed had she put her phone away. AND I was not going to permit her to treat our volunteers with disrespect.

Anywhoo, the rest of the day went well in spite of the fact we pretty much ran out of food towards the end of our day.

Afterwards, I had to conduct other business and while waiting in the anteroom, I noticed a woman sitting there who looked vaguely familiar. As soon as she spoke I knew immediately who she was. I had not seen her in a good 25 years, but seeing my former college English mentor was incredibly satisfied.

We sat and talked for a good 20 minutes and it was like I had just seen here last week. As we parted, I gave her a hug and off I went.

Lastly, tonight's men's group meeting was a lot of fun. About a month ago, Philip (my co-moderator) and I decided to shake up the meetings' format and implemented a sort of round robin where each person is required to offer a recollection, an insight, an observation even if merely to say "on my day to work today, I..."

This format has been a fantastic addition to the group's dynamics and I think, opened up new avenues where each of us takes some ownership of our meetings.

When I was in the Navy, we had observed an old adage that goes something like this: "We went on a five-mile run first thing today, followed by breakfast and then two meetings. And this, all before most Americans were even out of bed." 

Today reminded me of one of those days.

It was a beautiful day to save lives. Actually, I do not know that I saved any lives but Tuesdays certainly save mine.

But today was a good day... and how was yours?

Oh, how the times have changed

I hadn't exactly planned on my first post for 2018 to be political in nature, and I suppose in some ways it is not. But when words come to me, it is pointless to ignore them.

We all know now President Kennedy was hardly a saint, but he was eminently qualified to sit in the Oval Office. He was a statesman; he understood the miltary; he was well connected with other world leaders and Congress, AND he served in the U.S. Navy during WWII. 

Kennedy served. He WAS a leader during the war and became a leader in Congress.

JFK did not play the "I'm a rich kid card," nor did he have any inconvenient bone spurs. He paid his dues, first serving as a U.S. Congressman... and even though he was rich, he seemed to understand the common citizen. 

Sure, some might say the same of Donald Trump, but his actions (thus far in office) belay that and really, does anyone for one second believe he gives one iota about the poor?

Kennedy WAS the real deal, not a pretender like the Donald.

When I was a boy, I wanted to be JFK. That is--before I wanted to be John Glenn. I cannot imagine any kid today saying "I want to be Donald Trump."

Yesterday, I found this children's book in our Barnes & Noble, Jr. room. 

We have a great selection of kids' books about historical figures and leaders in our store. I saw a few books on Barack Obama, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Eleanor Roosevelt, Michelle Obama, Colin Powell, and countless others.

Funny thing, I have not seen anyone rushing to publish any children's books about the Donald. Frankly, I would worry about any parent thinking Trump an appropriate role model for their child. 

I mean, can you imagine a kid's book trying to soft-pedal Trump's own words: "grab them by the ....?"

2017--the year that was

I wish I had something poignant (or happy) to say about 2017, the year that was. But I really cannot think of much that speaks kindly to the days that passed. 

This year gave us Donald Trump (I still refuse to call him by the title he thinks he earned). He is an utter embarrassment to our nation every single day, and his GOP has proven to be as cruel and heartless as we all feared they would be if ever given the key to both houses and the White House. 

I dread watching the daily news fearful of what he has done "this time."

One bright spot in our government has been the courts which have steadfastly provided a beacon of hope against many of the draconian exercises the Donald has attempted to foist upon us.

Earlier this year the Donald tried to forbid transgender people from serving in our military. The courts said, "now, just wait one damn minute,' and even better,  the Pentagon demurred, basically telling Mr. Trump to go screw himself, and starting next week, the military will permit openly transgender citizens to enlist--much to the consternation of the bigot sitting in the Oval Office.

Robert Mueller has been another bright spot in this past year. He has been whittling away to make the case that the Trump campaign colluded with the Russian government to influence--nay, steal the 2016 presidential election.

2018 brings us midterm elections and it is my hope that the Democrats will be able to capitalize on a number of incredibly unpopular legislative actions the GOP has unleashed upon the poor and the middle class. Karma, baby!

On a more personal note, this year has been equally brutal. My son's job ended two days ago and one of my closest, dearest friends lost her job earlier this month. I honestly do not understand why a company would fire someone within eyesight of the Christmas holiday. 

Also earlier this month, some Grinch came to my home in the dark of night and cut down and stole a fir tree that my son and I planted 20 years ago. I don't understand how someone could do something so brazen, so wrong.

My neighborhood has had its share of ups and downs over the course of the 22 years (in May, that is) since I moved here.

I have long resisted the urge to escape. It irks me to no end that I am even considering this. I own my home outright, and to be faced with the prospect of having a house payment again, frankly, makes me ill. AND at this point in life, quite impossible.

The true bright spot for this year has been my family... my parents' health has been relatively good for someone in their mid-70s. My friends (who I find are more my family than blood) constantly give me the support and laughter needed to make life more than just existing. I honestly cannot imagine life without any of them.

This year was a milestone of sorts. For my birthday this year, I celebrated the last year of my fifth decade. I honestly don't know what 60 is supposed to feel like, but all I know is don't feel 60. I think the young'ns I work with on my job keeps me on my toes. My dearest and closest friends and my brother Bryan and sister-in-law attended a small celebration at one of my favorite downtown haunts and it was a blast.

So, with this year to be a mere bygone in a few more hours, I want to remain guardedly optimistic. I continue to hope for changes for our nation and also those of a more personal nature. 

I bid 2017 a less than fond farewell. If I were a praying man--and I am not--I would wish that the year ahead smiles favorably on us all.

Instead, I believe the changes we need and that I want (and also need) require we all roll up our sleeves and get down to it.