Meghan Buell, Rest in Peace

Gentle persons, it is my sad duty to let you know our friend, the former LGTBQ+ Center Executive Director, Director of TREES, recent author of her memoir The Road to Me: A Transgender Journey, and good friend to our community has passed away.

Meghan was last seen Sunday and found in her home this morning. Foul play is not believed to have played any part in her passing but at this time I do not have any details as to the cause of death. When we learn of funeral or memorial plans being made public, I will pass them along to you all.

On a personal note (Doug speaking), I have known and loved Meghans for many years. I have marveled at her sly wit, her intelligence, her love of ours, and her biological family, and her bravery. Meghan has been a shining beacon for the Michiana trans community. She had put herself out there in the public's eye on many, many occasions. She spoke to the local media and at various conferences and gatherings. 

If any of you attended any of the Pride events in past years, Meghan was there, always there. 

You may not have known this, but Meghan was a beloved substitute teacher in the South Bend Community School system. On those many occasions when she was before a classroom, young children asked her if she was a man dressed as a woman. She freely spoke of her life in terms that young children might understand. When the LaPorte community made a big stink about Meghan corrupting the lives of our young children, they admonished the SBCSC for hiring her. South Bend School Corp told them to mind their own business.

You may remember that Meghan stood her own (privately very shaken) when the proud boys tried to disrupt her children's reading event at the Tutt Library Branch. We learned then that ugliness has found its place in our community.

Earlier this summer, the men's group met at Meghan's TREES (Transgender Resource, Education & Enrichment Services), a beautiful center and haven for our trans community. If you had not been there, you have missed experiencing a great educational and inviting center for all that walked through the doors. The center reflects on Meghan in ways that go beyond her character alone.

Meghan, you will be sorely missed. Even in her passing, I am reminded of Hillary Clinton's slogan, "Nevertheless, she persisted." She certainly will in my memories of her.

If any of you have any fond recollections you would like to share of Meghan, please feel free to share them in the best way you can.

Happy 130th birthday, U.S. Navy Chiefs

The pinnacle for any U.S. Navy Petty Officer is to achieve the rank (E-7) of Navy Chief. During the last six years of my 21-year Navy career, I was "up for" Chief five times.

In a case of coulda, woulda, shoulda, and...

For whatever reason, I was not selected, which was mostly by fault of my own. While I think I would have been a good Chief had I the honor of being selected, I think in retrospect, I did not want it badly enough. For another reason, I had a concern that, after supremely letting down a Navy Chief--he who largely launched my career--on a very important assignment, I am not certain I deserved to be a Chief.

In part, I was somewhat disillusioned by the rank. I personally know three Chiefs who I felt did not represent the ideals, one of which nearly destroyed my career in my final year of service (he, in a fit of irony, sabotaged his career and the justice of it all does not escape me).

Rather than try to single out and name the many, many fantastic Chiefs whom I had the honor to serve, Iest I inadvertently leave someone out, I want to thank the Chiefs whose dedication and mentorship made my career a joy! I will say that two CPOs from NOSC Chicago, one who literally saved my life, and the other, my Navy career, epitomized service to those they lead. To them, and all the others, I am eternally grateful!

Again, as I said earlier in an earlier post, the Navy could not run without the dedication of our U.S. Navy Chiefs.

Happy Birthday to those fine men and women!

Are we ourselves?

 

I have spent a lot of time recently looking at videos that show our America in the early 20th century leading into the 1950s.

Flash forward to the here and now and I hear constant whining about how we have lost our way, and how our values have changed. I posit we have changed little if any at all. I look at these homes, these buildings, the manicured yards, the clean city streets, the parks, the storefronts, etc.

Sure, a lot of the landscapes have changed, a lot of businesses have come and gone, but when I look at the homes, I see a people who care about where they reside and about their communities.

The most obvious change, of course, is our technology. Look at the homes, the buildings, the streets. Do they look so different than what we see today? This video could have been as easily shot today aside from the automobiles.

People talk about how crime today is running rampant and I would invite you to study our history during Prohibition. People feared the uptick of violence from organized crime--then as we do now.

We may have evolved in our view of the world around us. In some ways, tolerance has evolved and become an air of acceptance and understanding. I do fear for the two steps forward we take, we inevitably take a step back as people's reactions to fearing change manifest themselves, all too often resulting in ugliness.

I believe, for the most part, man is unchanged and will probably remain so. Am I wrong? Are we a vastly different America?

Anyway, watch this video. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXPYQU78sIc

In the name of love

 

Over the course of the past few days, I have been featuring vintage photos of male couples dating from the 1850s through the 1950s on my Facebook page. They are very romantic but more importantly, they illustrate how the power of love can override other concerns.

 

Many of the photos clearly show love in these men’s eyes. The holding of hands; a head resting on his boyfriend’s shoulder; a hug, an embrace, their bodies intertwined in the grass or in bed, fully clothed, mind you; the photo booth strips; and yes, even a loving kiss. Men in uniform, men in suits, working-class men, farmers, cowboys (yes!), in swimwear--or shockingly--in their underwear!

 

These photos are astounding! In a modern context, perhaps not. But historically, these photos come from a time when these men were of the “unspeakable.” Criminal. Deviants. Perverts.

 

And to dare to photograph themselves together strongly illustrated their commitment to one another. In their times, these photos could lead to their arrest, their deaths, or depending on where they lived, they risked being lobotomized. They risked being ostracized from their friends, their jobs, their families.

For these photos, for their love, they risked everything. It is, according to the authors of the book "Loving: A Photographic History of Men in Love," even more amazing so many of these photos still exist as in many cases the families of these men, when discovering the photos, were horrified and destroyed them. 

Photo-developing houses of the day would often refuse to develop these photos and to add to the insult, they might report the men to the police. And still, these men persisted in documenting their love for posterity for all, or none, to see.

All for love.

Happy New Year