Bigots

This goes out as old news, actually.

But tell me what's wrong with this photo? How can people be so exuberantly gleeful when they are spreading so much hurt and pain?

This photo makes me ill looking at people who so happily celebrate the hurt they have caused.

The reverberations of last's week's hateful vote will spread like concentric waves after throwing a rock in the water of a lake; the ripple effect will assuredly touch countless lives.

How can people band together to spend millions of dollars so to deny all citizens equal rights? And why are people's civil rights being put forth for people to vote upon? To be trampled on? To be denied? To be bartered?

Last month when I attend the historic march for Equality in Washington, D.C. I saw a man carrying a placard that read, "If you don't like gay marriage, don't have one!" So why cannot *these* people take care of their own lives and let others tend to their own? Rhetorical question, I know.

Some people just cannot help themselves in throwing their judgment around without thought or care who they hurt.

If so-called Christians are so worried about the sanctity of marriage, why aren't they working to pass laws to outlaw divorce? Why don't they devote those misspent millions of dollars to provide counseling to protect troubled marriages? So let me ask another question... did the sky fall when gays were permitted to marry in Vermont? in New Hampshire? in Massachusetts? in Connecticut? or in Iowa? or in Europe where gay marriages have been legal for decades? No?

This is Christianity at its worst! And it certainly doesn't display the love of God that I follow and love. Justice denied for some is injustice for all.

So my question is, what are these people so afraid of? This is just wrong in so many ways!

Dad

Yesterday was my Dad's 72nd birthday!

My Dad, Douglas Robert Mappin, was a good man who was a great mentor and teacher to his seven sons and one daughter. When I think of him I am mindful of the military tenet that demands its servicemembers lead by example. Dad, a 26-year veteran of the Indiana National Guard, lived and breathed that principle... in his military career, with his job and with his family.

He led. I can think of few men who were so principled, so honest and so perfectly suited to be a leader in the National Guard or as a father.

After his passing--he taken from his family and friends far too young--memories have slowly begun to fog, but I have memories still cherished of the man, the friend and the father that he was. I know, from conversations with my son, that he was too young to have many memories of his grandfather. The point is, sadly, as the years pass images have become less prominent, but thankfully, I have some that will never fade.

I leave it to my brothers and sisters to their memories nor can I speak entirely for them. Their memories are their own, after all. I do know there has not been a day we each have not missed his easy humor, his smile, his laugh and his incredibly strong principles and ethics.

Dad was, like many of our parents, a product of the Great Depression. His work ethic was incomparable. In retrospect, I think we kids sometimes wished that had not been the case. You see, my Dad held three jobs for a good number of years. He was a tool and die maker for a company in North Manchester, Indiana. He proudly served in the Indiana National Guard. And in the last few years of his life, Dad had dreamed of running his own business.

He took that leap of faith to develop and hone his own business skills. Not too long before his death, Dad had quit his full-time job to devote full attention to his own tool and die company on the northside of our hometown Rochester, Indiana.

But this was just one aspect of his life.

Dad had a great ear and always the time for when we needed his advice. I remember his words of advice the day I married; the day I became a father; the day I separated from my wife; and the day I decided to enter college, and I remember how proud he was when I told him I was going to be a teacher.

If there was one thing I remember most about my Dad is the pride he had in each of his kids. And if not pride, the concern he showed even more so when we were troubled. I am sure that at one moment or another, each of the eight of us put him through the test of parenthood. I wonder how many headaches we each caused.

While Dad was a great father, I have only vague memories of what kind of husband he was (young kids are so self-centered after all. I am ashamed to say I did not even know when his and my stepmom's wedding anniversary was until after he had died).

I have only the vaguest of memories of what kind of relationship they celebrated together. I do recall a few times of watching he and my stepmom together. Not long after he had suffered a heart attack, I remember them sitting in the living room one time holding hands. In that regards, Dad and my stepmom led a quiet, private life. But I know how hard they both worked to provide for each of their children.

Now while I said I can only guess what kind of husband he was, I look at my brothers Bryan, Rob, Scott and Matt and look at their marriages. Each of them lead lives that I believe were shaped by Dad's (and Mom's) example.

Funny, when I look at my brother Matt it is like looking at Dad, who we (my siblings) have often commented upon, is nearly the image of our Dad.

Dad was also a loving son. His mother, my grandmother, Valda Mappin was diagnosed with Parkinson Disease when I was a young lad. Dad, being an only child, did the best he could to ensure her life was safe and as healthful as possible. So in addition to being a father of a large clan, working multiple jobs, he still found time to devote what energies he had to his mother.

I suspect he felt he didn't have enough time to do everything he needed to do.

Perhaps my strongest--and favorite memories about Dad were him spending time with us kids. He played with us, taught us and often took us camping at a nearby campground. Fishing at Lake Manitou on his pontoon boat and roadtrips around the state were always fun as well.

One of our favorite jokes involved Dad's long-time penchant for finding the ugliest fir tree tree for Christmas. Dad always cut his own tree and in my mind, I think he sought out the puniest, ugliest tree he could find every year. Thinking he took pity on that one tree, we found a way for it to shine in beauty for that holiday. In fact, one year the spindly, sparse tree had to be tied to the wall so that it would not tip over. We laughed so hard! But Christmas Eve was always special in Dad's home (and still is to this day, to my stepmom's credit).

In any case, I am sitting here remembering Dad. One of my friends over the weekend told me that he thought it sweet that I mentioned it was Dad's birthday--even after all these years, but I cannot help it. He shaped our lives in ways I cannot imagine.

He lived long enough only to see the birth of his first two grandchildren. I remember his pride when he first held my son Wes, his first grandchild.

He did not live to see my brother Rob nor I join the military, however, I do remember how proud he was when both Bryan and Teresa joined the Armed Forces. I remember crying on the plane flying to boot camp when I recalled my stepmom telling me how proud Dad would be if he had lived to see me, his first-born, joining the Navy.

Dad did not live to see any of his kids marry (except for Teresa and I). Like his Dad before him, his life was cut far too short (both died at the age of 47). While Dad was so proud of his children and wife, it only seems fair to say how proud we were of him as well.

Perhaps the best tribute I can give my father is knowing that each of his eight kids, me, Teresa, Bryan, Mike, Rob, Chris, Scott and Matt all finished school and have all gone on to lead fairly happy lives with their own families.

This past year, a hometown reporter wrote a piece about me while I was serving in Afghanistan, but one of my proudest moments came from reading a letter to the editor. That letter, written by a man who joined the National Guard because of my Dad's leadership, said I "sound" just like my Dad. That, to me, was one of the finest compliments I have ever received in my life.

I do wish that Dawn, Tracy (Rob's wife), Tracy (Matt's), Alana and Lori (my sisters-in-law), the grandkids would have had the chance to have met Dad. They would've loved playing with him and including them in their lives.

I think I speak for each of my brothers and sister when I say I miss Dad dearly. Here's to you, Dad. We love you!

Those who are dead are not dead,

They're just living in my head.

--Coldplay

Memorial

March for Equality 2009

I have been pretty remiss of late. In recent weeks I have started two postings only to get shut down by writer's block (the scourge of every writer at one point or another... those two posts remain unfinished, awaiting my creative muse to return). I apologize and would like to comment on my day yesterday after arriving in Washington, D.C.

Yesterday, I had the distinct honor of attending the National Equality March in Washington, D.C. While I got into town too late to meet up at the White House where the march began, I was at the Capitol Building lawn ready to greet the marchers as they came en masse; to record the events for posterity. And for my own purposes, to commit to memory a very special (and long) day.

Some unofficial accounts placed nearly 200,000 people present for the march and subsequent rally, something I doubt, but I will certainly agree there were lots and LOTS of people gathered to voice their passion, their frustrations, their demands for respect and equality and their love for this country of ours.

I can unequivocally state there were a number of moments that tugged at the heartstrings. Julian Bond, chairman of the NAACP gave a speech that was a huge home run ("We have a lot of real and serious problems in this country, and same-sex marriage is not one of them. Good things don't come to those who wait, but they come to those who agitate!").

Both activists David Mixner and Cleve Jones voiced their hopes and concerns with equal zeal... and why not? These men are professionals and know their craft well. Perhaps, to me, other moments... somewhat more low-key, captured my attention completely.

The first was when Judy Shepard, mother of slain college student Matthew Shepard (has it really been 11 years now?) took the stage. The instant Judy's name was announced the audience fell completely silent out of respect for her... and her family. Her comments were brief, powerful and softly stated. But make no mistake, sometimes the softest voice delivers the most impact-- and this she did. My respect for this woman rivals that of the mother of slain Sailor Allan Schindler, who was brutally murdered by his own fellow shipmates in 1992.

One moment was offered by one of the co-founders of the march. Sadly, I don't recall her name, but her tearful plea for President Obama to follow through on his promises to the community were heartfelt. She offered her concerns for her family, her children and their future-- and we all understood and felt her pain.

Other moments involved the power of music, actually there were four... were each delivered separately and speak to music's ability to transcend above political and social paths. The first was when the Washington, D.C.'s Gay Men's Choir sang 'Bridge Over Troubled Water.' How amazing that that old Paul Simon song still carries so much strength all these years later (a song I know well from my high school swing choir days)!

The last moment (in order of performance anyway) was when the young Broadway cast of 'Hair,' who took the day off from their New York City stage, came to perform 'Aquarius!' and join in what was often (that day) called 'the right side of history.'

I was struck by how young and beautiful the cast was, but when I looked around at the crowd surrounding me I noticed just how many young people were present. And they were not there to ask but to demand the respect and equality all of us deserve. The moment was clearly reminiscent of the old Vietnam War-era protest marches.

Two events brought tears to my eyes. Why? With all the noise, hate, shouting and screaming so often waged against gays and lesbians, I was touched by this simple fact. Even with all the disrespect heaped upon the gay community, they showed that in spite of that, they/we love our country.

At the point where we stood together, side by side, and sang the 'Star Spangled Banner,' our national anthem, I was moved beyond words! People everywhere stood at attention, hands over their heart, and sang... and sang proudly. And later on, when we sang, again with reverence, 'America the Beautiful,' I would defy anyone not to have been moved. Say what you will about our very diverse community, but it cannot be said that we do not love our country any more, or any less than any other American.

Here's the point... at least the one that was obvious to me, this march was a call for everyone to phone in, to write, to meet with their community leaders, their congressmen and congresswomen, their senators and our President. To be silent no more. The time for indecisiveness is long past and it is time that every.single.American be treated with equality, with respect and with peace.

So what are we asking for (and if you think about it, we shouldn't have to do this)? We expect the same rights as our heterosexual counterparts: the right to marry with the same rights, respect and benefits; the right to serve our nation's military openly and respectfully without having to lie or hide who we are; the right to be employed without fear of reprisals for being who we are; and the right to live free of fear of being victims of hate.

And it is time our government live up to its motto, 'we the people' and practice the 14th Amendment of our Constitution as it would any other law of the land.

Equality is a God given tenant of our existence. Yesterday's march was our voice saying enough is enough... So either help us lead the march or get out of the way. As was mentioned in one speech, "Equal rights are for all, all of the time, not just when it is convenient."

photos by the author

Catch-22: Afghanistan

For those who want us out of Iraq and Afghanistan... keep wishing, but don't hold your breath.

Why? Okay, for starters--thankfully--the U.S. and coalition forces are slowly making their way out of Iraq. This is old news. But even if we leave we probably will have some presence there for a long, long time. Witness this: World War II is more than 70 years distant, yet the U.S. has a huge presence in Europe as a member of NATO as well as remaining in Japan. South Korea and the Korean War is more than 50 years behind us and, like Europe, we still maintain military bases in South Korea (where one of my friends is stationed today).

I am not naive enough to state that our presence in Europe and Asia is unwarranted, but I am pointing it out as a point of reference to my thesis that the U.S. Armed Forces forces will most assuredly remain in the Middle East as a vigilant watchdog for more years than I imagine the Bush Administration ever contemplated, and therein lies a problem.

It is obvious to most of us President George W. Bush, his paranoid vice president and "yes-man" staff did not think things through prior to launching a war against Iraq. If they had, they might have (or should have) reconsidered opening the can of worms that they have. But so they did, and now we have to live with those consequences and move on--and hopefully rectify what I consider was a hugely disastrous foreign affairs blunder.

This whole situation of our war efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan is complicated and was exasperated by the events of September 11. Whether readers want to admit it, our preemptive war with Iraq really had little to do with 9/11, but more to do with the Bush Administration's misguided desire to punish Saddam Hussein for his past sins. I do wish to clarify that I am not saying Hussein was a leader we could live with--I am saying other means were available to force him to "play nice," but think he basically drew a line in the sand and lost--and handed the Bush Administration an excuse to attack.

Bush's spin doctors were most expert in drawing conclusions that were erroneous at best, and blatant lies at worst, to gain national and world support for toppling Saddam Hussein's empire. It saddens me to this day that Secretary of State (Gen.) Colin Powell's reputation was used (and severely diminished) to launch a needless war in Iraq.

But I digress.

Today, public support for the Afghan War is beginning to show signs of waning.

Just this week ABC News and independent commentator George Will came out (ala Walter Cronkite's reluctant admonishment that we abandon our war effort in Vietnam) in favor of pulling coalition forces out of Afghanistan, saying we cannot accomplish our goals...

Will says, "So, instead, forces should be substantially reduced to serve a comprehensively revised policy: America should do only what can be done from offshore, using intelligence, drones, cruise missiles, air strikes and small, potent Special Forces units, concentrating on the porous 1,500-mile border with Pakistan, a nation that actually matters."

To some degree, I cannot fully support Will's position, but I do understand it. I disagree with his assessment that we should scale back and wage war from the skies. In the past, this has proven imprecise, unreliable and deadly to many innocent victims. We already have claimed more Afghan lives who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, thus weakening our friendship with the Afghan government, which in some ways is not necessarily a bad thing (the Karzai government, like many before it, is corrupt beyond compare.

As a Sailor in the US Navy I find this approach of detached warfare somewhat cowardly. I do, however, agree with Mr. Will's position regarding Pakistan.

Already, critics are calling this "Obama's War." This is rather unfair assignment as this was a war launched by President Bush in response to the actions against us on September 11, 2001. I do not, however, have the same harsh words over this one issue. The Afghanistan of 2001, one ruled by Taliban tyranny also played host to Al Qaeda. As news commentator Ted Koppell said on National Public Radio it was here where Al Qaeda was given safe refuge; it was here where the events of 9/11 were nurtured, planned and launched (with the aid of certain factions in Saudi Arabia) and it was here where American launched a manhunt for the world's most hated man, Osama bin Laden.

Where I part ways with President Bush in regards to the Afghan War is simply this: He blinked. He lost focus; and he lost the game. By allowing his hatred of Saddam Hussein to consume him, he lost track of why we went to war in Afghanistan. We weren't at war with Hussein, but with Al Qaeda. But he forgot that and we lost ground; we even lost the "high road."

Not because of WMDs as he claimed; not because Hussein was a threat to U.S. security as he claimed; and not because Hussein was killing his people (that argument, I could have supported). Saddam was not the first nation to thumb his nose at U.S. concerns, but he was the first to suffer from a U.S. led preemptive war.

President Bush lost the game in Afghanistan and now--eight years later (next month)--we find ourselves immersed in the longest war in our history and many are beginning to question for what gains and at what cost... and why?

Having served as a Navy photojournalist in Afghanistan for a year, I am proud of the work our troops are doing in the streets of Kabul and countless other cities. We are there, not as conquerors nor bullies, but as teachers, mentors, humanitarians and as a protective friend. However, as the violence against the Afghan people escalates--and against us--that role is beginning to change... and as a result plans are being made to circumvent a return of Taliban rule.

When we invaded Afghanistan in 2001 we were welcomed by a people as we put an end to the Taliban tyranny that for all intents and purposes propelled that nation backwards to the 13th or 14th century.

For those of us leading comfortable lives here in our safe and sanitized world, most of us cannot imagine the horrors of the day-to-day lives of the Afghan people under Taliban rule. Women were stoned to death for refusing to submit to male dominance (the old adage of "barefoot and pregnant" would find a willing home in the Taliban's eye); girls were forbidden to attend schools; men imprisoned for refusing to wear a beard; no music, no television; beheadings in public squares... all used to invoke terror and subjugation. This is what the U.S. led coalition forces saved the Afghans from.

Move forward eight years to today and now the Obama Administration finds itself in a quandary. In 2007, then Sen. Obama, on the road as a presidential candidate, made it very clear he was not in favor of the Iraq War, but reluctantly concluded that our presence in Afghanistan a necessary evil. Today, plans are afoot to send in more troops to face an increasingly bloody Taliban threat who want "their" country back.

The sad matter of fact is, they (the Taliban) are beginning to make inroads. Perhaps even more troubling is the fact that the Taliban is making life increasingly more difficult for the Pakistan government as well. Today's military strategists believe Osama bin Laden and the top Al Qaeda echelon are hiding out in the twisting mountains of Pakistan, aided by members of the Taliban.

This is dangerous for both coalition forces and the Pakistan government. For Afghanistan, this is problematic since the border between the two countries is extremely porous making it easy for Taliban terrorists to move back and forth with relative ease.

Coalition forces training the Afghan National Border Police are making this a more difficult aspect for the Taliban, but for Pakistan, the presence of the Taliban is creating its own dilemma-for both Pakistan and for the coalition forces hoping to bring a lasting peace that would bring a revival of long poor Afghanistan (where the average Afghan earns approximately $400 a year).

Not wanting to appear as alarmist as the expert Bush Administration, the Taliban's influence in Pakistan is increasing and this puts us--and Pakistan in a terrifying position. Terrifying for Afghanistan, terrifying for India, terrifying for China and Russia and terrifying for the entire southeast Asian continent.

Why? Because Pakistan possesses the bomb. It is no secret that Pakistan has built approximately 100 nuclear warheads, standing ready for launch. World leaders as well as the Pakistan government are fully aware of the consequences if that government were to fall to the Taliban. The entire region could be destabilized with one careless action from Pakistan if its government fell to a zealot Taliban force (especially if they remain aligned with Al Qaeda).

So... back to Afghanistan, where we are definitely damned if we do, damned if we don't. This is the ultimate nightmare... and why it is unlikely the U.S. will leave the region any time soon.

But one can certainly hope.