Lois Schreckengost

In my youth, I married my high school sweetheart. We both were young and pretty naive. Today is my late Mother-in-Law's birthday. Lois Schreckengost was a great Mom and Mother-in-Law. I was the son she and Abe, her husband, never had. She was a good woman. She would give you the shirt (or blouse) off her back for anyone in need.

Lois led a very harsh life and she suffered greatly for it in her later years. Lois was stricken with a severe form of rheumatoid arthritis. When I met her in 1974, her spine was beginning to curve and because of it, she was always in a great deal of pain. By the time she passed, the curvature of her spine was quite pronounced.

I have quite fond memories of her. She had some of the oddest quirks, and Phyllis (her sole daughter and my wife), Abe, myself and later my son Wes, loved taking advantage of them. Sweet torment might seem a harsh word, but she also gave as good as she got.

Lois could not watch the old TV show 'Bewitched' without going into a flurry of facial tics every time Samantha twitch her nose. We learned to make certain faces that would launch her tics. She would have to cover her eyes to avoid them.

Lois had a penchant that her house would be spotless, but because of her illness, she relied on others to do this. One of our favorite tricks involved her pet Chihuahua. One day Phyllis and I were out shopping and at a local Spencer's gift we found a pile of fake doggie doo. We arranged (with Abe's help) to place the fake pile somewhere she was sure to find it. She did... and initially, she lost it until we confessed.

In payback, one day Lois was sitting in her chair when she jumped at me and informed me, "I am going to kiss you." I ran down the hall to their bathroom and locked myself in.

Next thing I knew, she, Phyllis and Abe stood outside the door dying with laughter. I asked what was so funny. Lois invited me to come out of the bathroom. I refused. Then Phyllis and Abe told me to come out. When I tried, I discovered I was locked in and the doorknob fell off. I was trapped.... and I had been had!

One of the best things about Lois was the love she had for our son. She adored Wes (she quite called him Adam, Wes' middle name). She lived for Wes and she spoiled him. Now mind you, Wes probably doesn't remember much about her. He was, after all, very young. 

But if there was one word that described her, it was 'Grandma.' She loved being his Grandma!

Lois was his babysitter for the last two years of her life. One cold winter's morning, their mobile home's furnace caught fire and Wes, even as a four-year old made sure they both got safely out before the flames spread. He loved his na-na and she, him!

She loved her daughter and her husband and while there were times she was very difficult to be around, we all knew it was her pain that was speaking, not her.

When Lois died in 1981, our family doctor told us she would never have lived as long as she had if not for her love and devotion to Wes.

Anyhow, today is her birthday. She would have been 80 years old today. I think of her often and especially today, on her day. I don't have any photos of Lois but I can see her as clearly today as if she were standing here beside me.

Lois, I think of you today with fondness and with love.

Jeffty is Five

I am currently reading Harlan Ellison's anthology "Shatterday." I have to give a shoutout to his astoundingly moving, nostalgic and disturbing fantasy short story 'Jeffty Was Five.'

In the opening pages, the narrator and Jeff Kinzer, known fondly as Jeffty, are five-year old boys and best friends.

In the opening pages, the narrator's parents are hit upon hard times and it is decided to send him off to live with a well-to-do aunt. When he returns home, he is seven. Jeffty is five.

Jeffty is a special child. He is not developmentally delayed, not mentally challenged... he is just five and his world time seems to have stood still.

When the narrator is ten, he is sent to military school and he returns at age 14. Jeffty is five.

By tale's end, the narrator is well into adulthood while Jeffty remains five.

Ellison's tale won the prestigious Hugo Award in 1978 for best short story. In an online poll for Locus magazine, 'Jeffty is Five' was voted as the best short story of all time. Mighty high praise, huh?

I will tell you this is an incredibly moving story. And I will not lie; a great deal of mystery and sadness infuses 'Jeffty is Five.'

Through the years. a great deal has been made about how moving Ellison's "Star Trek" story "The City on the Edge of Forever" is. 'Jeffty is Five,' in my opinion, is far more moving.

Through the years. a great deal has been made about how moving Ellison's "Star Trek" story "The City on the Edge of Forever" is. 'Jeffty is Five,' in my opinion, is far more moving.

---

As a side note, while doing research I learned the story was partially inspired by a conversation Ellison overheard at a party at the home of actor Walter Koenig (best known as Lt. Pavel Chekov).

"How is Jeff?"
"Jeff is fine. He's always fine."
Ellison perceived this as "Jeff is five, he's always five." Ellison then based Jeffty's character on Joshua Andrew Koenig, Koenig's son.

I cannot recommend this story enough. Seek it out if you can, I think you will find it as moving as I.

Kevin Spacey, gay pariah?

To say I am disappointed in Kevin Spacey would be an understatement. Damned angry would be more appropriate. Actor Anthony Rapp's bombshell announcement yesterday certainly raised eyebrows everywhere in the gay community.

Why? It's been a pretty open secret for decades that Spacey has played for our team even if he has refused to acknowledge it. He has, for years when asked if he was gay, hemmed and hawed saying he has known the love of men and women.

Fine, his own sexuality is his own business.

My disappointment runs double. Yes, yesterday Spacey publicly apologized for his transgression--those he said he does not remember doing. And then today, Spacey publicly came out as a gay man. My question is this: Why did it take allegations of sexual misconduct to force him to come clean?

Yes, I am disappointed that he hit on a (then) 14-year old Rapp. Creepy, yes, and depending on what occurred, criminal even. If the allegations are true, and it seems they are, I am also disappointed that Spacey lacked the character to know better--drunk or not, as he claimed--to come unto a minor.

Lastly, in the past, the gay community has been ecstatic to welcome celebrities into the family, if you will. But why in the hell would we have any desire to accept Spacey while he has this hanging over his head?

I can just hear Pat Robertson, all giddy saying, "see, I told you so!" Every fundie out there who has claimed gays cannot be trusted around our kids have now a very visible face to use as ammunition against us.

I wish there could have been a way this news could have broken more quietly, but the current "me too" movement has made that harder, Our community has always been quick to point out that unhealthy sexual relationships between adults and minors have statistically rested on the shoulders of the heterosexual community, not ours. 

And that still is true. 

Spacey has made that a little harder to argue. He's just one man, but it takes just one to taint the argument for those looking with a closed mind.

But, I guess if we're going to be true to our convictions, we must own up to our own as well, yet I am also wont to sweep such allegations under the rug. To end these kinds of behaviors, we must, as Rapp said today, "shine a light on the problem." 

Dammit, I hate having ethics sometimes--and damn you, Kevin Spacey.

Star Trek grows up

So, 'Star Trek - Discovery's' episode "Choose Your Pain" crossed two thresholds last night. One, not exactly welcome and the other, a "it's about time!" historic moment.

The first, I alluded to last night. Cadet Tilly unleashed the f-bomb. If that wasn't enough. Lt Paul Stamet did so as well.

No judgment from me. It would be disingenuous for any of us to pretend we've never said it ourselves. Hell, I am a Sailor; you've surely heard the adage "cuss like a Sailor." In the past, 'Battlestar Galactica' got around it by saying 'frak.' But let's be serious, we ALL knew what they meant.

Some Star Trek fans have expressed their displeasure about the new series (for a variety of reasons). I will be the first to admit 'Discovery' is "not your father's 'Star Trek." In my opinion, this is a good thing.

By the time that 'Star Trek - Enterprise' met its untimely and unwarranted cancellation a lot of Trekkers (or if you prefer Trekkies) seemed to have grown weary of a continued presences of TREK for 18 years non-stop. Today's TREK is a bit more brusk, a bit darker, and now, a bit more adult.

The second threshold was one that 'Star Trek' has struggled with for a least three decades. In the 1980s, Gene Roddenberry himself promised that 'Star Trek's' inclusivity meant everybody, yet for gay Trekkers that promise seemed pretty hollow.

At a 'Star Trek' convention, Roddenberry promised fans that yes, gay people are valued members of the Federation and serving in Star Fleet.

Rick Berman, producer of the series, and torchbearer after Roddenberry's death in 1992 pretty much refused to let that promise see the light of day.

In 1991, 'Star Trek - The Next Generation' aired "The Host." In it, Dr. Crusher fell in love with Odon, a Trill mediator. In this story, we are 1) introduced to the Trill race and 2) learn they are a symbiotic race where the body plays host to sentient intelligence that is transplanted from one host to the next. When Odon, the host's body is damaged, an emergency transplant is performed to save the Trill symbiot.

Riker acts as a temporary host, but when a "permanent" host is delivered, the Trill host is a female, and this is a bridge that Dr. Crusher could not cross. No judgment here. A person is who they are, something Crusher rightly points out.

In subsequent years, TREK flirted with gay themes, always as a metaphor. They almost, almost, crossed the bridge in a DS9 episode involving Lt. Cmdr Jadzia Dax. BUT we have never seen an actual gay human on Star Trek. That is, not until last night.

Berman was always quick to point out that the TNG episode "The Outcast" was really about homosexuality. Thing is, we fans did not want a metaphor. We wanted TREK to boldly go.

Even we gay fans have wondered how to broach the subject and not do it in a way that smacked of tokenism. David Gerrold, one of my favorite authors, wrote an unproduced (at least on the "official" show) script entitled "Blood and Fire" that Roddenberry promised would be filmed. When Roddenberry died, Gerrold and his script found themselves "handed a hat" and walked unceremoniously out the door, not to return to the series again.

"Blood and Fire" included a gay couple.

Last night, we saw Lt. Paul Stamets and his mate Dr. Hugh Culber in a perfectly right-at-home moment in their quarters while brushing their teeth. Their conversation made it perfectly clear to us they are a couple. Hell, who knew that Star Fleet personnel wore pajamas in their off-duty hours? It was a ...

Perfectly innocent, perfectly human moment.

It's about damned time!

Band-aid

9/11 is over. I purposefully did not post anything about the anniversary of the attack yesterday. Why not?

We are all aware of the events of that tragic day. It was a horrible day and deserves remembrance, but I think, and I sure don't have an answer for this, I think our nation is grieving--and rightly so--but it seems to me every year on this date we rip a band-aid off of a physical and psychic wound.

I do not see how we can possibly heal as a nation when we do this. Maybe it is too soon. Heck, we still remember Pearl Harbor Day, 76 years distant, so what do I know?

I certainly am not suggesting we forget the events of that day, nor do I lay fault for any who feel a need to express their grief. What I fear is people using the day as a political soapbox or to raise a dagger of fearmongering.

All I am saying is I think we need to find a different way to honor and remember those we lost. 

What do you think?