Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Springtime Confession (with apologies to the Grass Roots)

I have a confession to make—Um, did that get your attention?

Three actually. First, I have lived in my home for 25 years and I have only raked the autumn leaves, maybe seven or eight times in all those years. I am usually content to let the winter winds take care of it, or I use my lawnmower to mulch them in the spring.

Tonight I raked leaves and I am sooo going to pay for it as it took me three hours to do the deed. This year, upon learning the city is doing a spring pickup I thought I'd do them. There is another ulterior motive--one I'll let go unsaid. Needless to say, I am sore tonight and may be even more so tomorrow. I think if someone walked up to me right now and gently poked my chest I might fall to the ground screaming in agony. LoL!

Second confession: That is going to get me in trouble with a couple of people (grin). Generally speaking, my idea of a nice yard is a freshly mowed lawn. Period. Sure, I love a landscaped yard, but I have had but the slightest interest in doing any landscaping. In more recent years, I planted a few flowers here and there. They all died. Roughly 15 years ago, my son Wes planted a dozen or so shrubs and trees and a few flowers. In fact, I actually blame him for all the raking I did tonight. He planted all those trees and left the raking to me (thankless child... HA!).

Years ago, Wes and I planted a small fir tree. it grew to a lovely 15-foot tall majestic tree. Alas, four years back some ass stole it in the dark of night around Christmas-time, and the only other tree I myself have planted--and done well with--is a tulip tree given to me by my friend Jim and his father.

Recently, my boyfriend mentioned--in his words--"I need help (Hush! No funny snide remarks from the peanut gallery)." He thinks my yard is in dire need of a redo. I won't argue the point. I am sure it does. Also relatively recently, someone who is near and dear to me commented, "it's too bad I don't know anyone who does landscaping for a living."

Here's the crux of the matter. I know incredibly little about plants. I am lucky I know what irises, lilies, daffodils, roses, marigolds, tulips, and poison ivy * look like. Ask me the name of a flower and I may know what it is, but it should surprise no one that most likely I would be baffled.

* I can play naked in poison ivy and suffer no ill effects. Lucky me... and really, no one wants to see that!

A few years ago, I planted a tiny bed of what would appear to be wildflowers, and they kind of, in spite of my kiss of death to plants, seem to have done okay, but they need help too.

Years ago I made two boxes to grow strawberries. They (the strawberries) no longer exist. They couldn't get enough sun where I planted them in my backyard. Last year I planted two tomato plants. They also suffered from a lack of sun until I moved them.

Confession three: I am a bit embarrassed to admit this. As I gay man, I have absolutely no sense of how to establish a coherent landscaped lawn. I might, just might, admit to that same issue in regards to the interior of my home. Thankfully, I know a few people (kinda like the adage "I know people who know people")... and that I am willing to be putty in their hands.

Back to the comment of "it's too bad I don't know anyone who does landscaping for a living." If you are ever in need of a great landscape artist, call my Uncle Garry. He has elevated the job to an art form. In fact, his business is called "Earth Art." Yes, a shameless plug.

Anyhoo, spring is coming, spring is here, and I have to do some things to spruce up my yard. I'm glad my boyfriend "has ideas for my yard (and my house too)."

Good thing, I need help!

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