Happy New Year

 

Remembering Pearl Harbor

Had you been alive 81 years ago, (by the time you would have read this tomorrow morning) the events of the morning at Pearl Harbor already set in motion America's honest * involvement in the war that enveloped this planet (I do not believe they called it WWII during the war). 

* officially, the US was staying out of the war but behind the scenes the US was providing supplies, weaponry, and intel to the Allied Forces. US Policies and certain actions were seen, by Japan, as meddling in their sovereign affairs leading them to justify their attack.

The brutal surprise attack on our Navy and Army Air Corps at Naval Station Pearl Harbor and Hickam Air Field was devastating. More than 2,400 men and women (mostly men) died in the attack. Nearly 1,200 people, military and civilians,  were wounded. 19 ships and more than 300 planes were damaged or destroyed.

In 2000 (and later on), I had the honor to interview six USS Arizona survivors and two from Hickam. I have since interviewed a dozen or so (and most of them have since passed on). For any Sailor, to meet these men was like walking into a church and meeting the Pope. I have never met such humble men, who in my eyes, stood higher than Mount Olympus.

When the continental US awoke that morning, by then the die had been cast. Not officially. BUT we were at war. That only became academic--and official--when President Roosevelt spoke before Congress, and when Congress declared war against Japan.

Remember Pearl Harbor.

Vote Woke

I grew up in the Midwest in a pro-union home in rural northern Indiana. My Dad and Mom instilled in me the sense of fairness and equality for all. I grew up in a small community that today might proclaim these ideals but I do not believe walks the walk, and definitely does not talk the talk.

 
I have always been proud of Mom and Dad (Stepmom and Stepdad too) whose enthusiasm for the future made me who I am.

 
As kids, my siblings and I found adventure in our farmhouse environment. We built forts on the second floor of our barn (inside hay and straw bales). I remember the spaceship we built in the 50-foot tall windmill. Our imaginations soared.

 
Giving to our county has always been a large part of my persona. For two years I was a volunteer EMT. After coming out, I was a youth leader for lesbian and gay teens for ten years with the hopes they’d find a kinder world than I grew up in.

I believed--and still do--in leading by example. When I was 36 I found my truest calling as a Navy journalist where I was afforded the opportunity to see the world (or was it sea the world?).

 
For seven years I was a high school teacher. I have to hope my role as a mentor was a positive influence on my young students' lives.

As we near this Tuesday's election, I remember my Grandfather Jim's fears for our nation. During the Vietnam War, as he watched the many anti-war riots, he claimed our country was going to hell. I told him we were not. Today, I fear he may have been right.

I truly believe this upcoming election will determine if our democracy, such as it is, will survive. I love my friends, family, my city, my community and of course, my country. More importantly, I love our world BUT we must become stewards that protect the big blue marble on which we reside.

I believe in equality for all, not just Americans but for all people. You can call me a tree hugger. Go ahead, I won't be offended. I am woke, a badge I wear as a badge of honor. My question to some of you is 'why are you not?' I believe in women's rights, minority rights, gay rights (naturally), trans rights, immigrant rights, combatting climate change. Yep, woke.

I abhor stupidity, prejudice, purposeful ignorance, and people who advance themselves by stepping on lesser advantaged peoples with little regard for the needs of all others.

We are an angry people and this saddens me as we have so much to be thankful for. What disturbs me is how easily some of our leaders foster and gain by promoting hate and distrust, and how so many people fall for it without question. Please, when hearing their words, please listen closely, please investigate their claims, please question their motives. Please ask yourself if their words will help all, or just some.
Do you remember John F. Kennedy's words?

 
"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country." I would, however, substitute the word 'world' for 'country.'

I ask you to do the same.

Here I proudly proclaim I am the radical left.

Since I serve as a voting judge in St. Joseph county, I have already voted. 

If you want to vote for the future, vote D for drive, not R for reverse. I voted blue. I urge you to do the same. 

Be radical in your truth.

#iamtheradicalleft

We have the watch, Chief. You stand relieved.

Navy Chief Aaron Wright and I joined the Navy around the same time, serving first at Navy Marine Corps Reserve Center South Bend and later at NOSC Chicago.

 
While it would be disingenuous of me to say we were close friends, we shared a love of South Bend, the Navy, the Cubs, Notre Dame, and our families. Any time we shared a conversation it was of one of those five topics and always included a laugh or two.

One of my favorite memories happened three years ago. I contacted Aaron after seeing an NCIS episode where two Sailors were suspects in a crime. One of the characters shared Aaron's name. I joked with him that I always suspected he had a seedy element in his background. We both got a good laugh about that.

Oddly enough, we shared a short conversation just last week and I thought something about it odd but did not give it too much thought until I learned of his passing this afternoon. I wish we had spoken longer than we did.

Aaron passed away last night from a mean aggressive form of cancer. He leaves behind a lot of good friends, Navy and civilian, and a loving wife and their three children. Aaron was a good man and I will miss him. He will be fondly remembered by his fellow Sailors, his coworkers at Notre Dame and especially his friends and family.

 
Please keep his family in your thoughts.

Chief, we have the watch. You stand relieved.

65

 

This past Friday was the BIG 65. I do not feel any different. Honestly, I don't know what 65 is supposed to feel like. Do I feel old? Hell no! Do I feel 30? Nope, not that either. People constantly tell me I do not look my age. I blame the Navy for that.

I don't think anyone knows what old is any more. If you ever hear me yelling "get off my lawn," I am kidding. I may get older, but I refuse to get old.

 
This weekend was great fun! Stephen made sure of that. He took me out to Cafe Navarre, a really nice South Bend dining venue. We then took a short walk through downtown South Bend. Our Friday movie night was a silly romp (Victor, Victoria). It's as fun today as when it came out in 1982 (a monumental year for me, incidentally)!

On Saturday, the guys and I went bowling, something I've not done in nearly a decade!

 
Stephen engineered the whole weekend. It was great magical fun. We also went Glo light Putt Putt Golf. I've never touched a golf club in my life. I wanted to go Go-karting but we'll do that some other time. We all bought a five-dollar play card but I was a tad bit grumpy that they didn't have any games that interested me. Too bad they didn't have the old arcade game Tempest. I could play that for hours!

Stephen, I love you and how special you made this weekend! Thank you (your birthday is coming in November... woo hoo)!

When I was in high school, I ran around with my friends Adele, Randy, and Phyllis. I was the "baby" of the bunch, something I constantly remind them of... until I catch up with them, that is. LoL!

Wes was out of town this weekend so he and I will get together sometime soon.

Lastly, I really am touched by all the texts, calls, emails, and Facebook birthday wishes from friends and family. I am blessed beyond compare. There were too many to respond to so please know I am gratified you all took time out of your day to wish me well. I thank you all who made this a great weekend!

If I were King

I responded to a post asking what changes I would make for our education system. This topic is near and dear to my heart and interestingly rather timely as I was asked yesterday if I would have any interest returning to teaching.

Let us just say, “it’s complicated.” Answer: Sort of, kinda, maybe, yes. I wish, but probably not.

Here’s my answer to what I would do if I were king. Feel free to add your two cents.

Oh God, as a former teacher, I would be hated (by politicians).

I would call for: A stricter but fairer curriculum, stop watering down standards, more US history classes, our country's history has too much to be covered in one year, even two years is hardly enough, AND no white washing our past.

If the past six years have taught us anything, a whole lot of Americans slept through their high school history, civics and government classes. Remember the adage “those who fail to learn the mistakes of our past are doomed to repeat them?”

More English and communication classes. Too many kids today cannot write and spell to save their lives. Have you ever seen a grammar book from the 19th century? From the mid-20th century? Even I might find some of those lessons difficult.

More practical classes for those who are not interested in college track. While some would say the arts are not important, they are. For some, the arts and athletics are the magnet keeping our students engaged.

Is home economics still taught? Living skills math (some of us who took the required algebra have not once used it in real life)?

Science, science, science, foreign languages. Folks, we are not keeping up with the world!

I know this is an unpopular idea, but maybe a longer school year would be beneficial... a year round schedule with staggered breaks every three months. Just ask teachers how much review they have to do at the beginning of every school year. In some cases, why not a fifth year?

It's an old tireless debate but more pay for the teachers. Smaller classes, smaller schools. Education is not cheap and the government needs to stop trying to do school on the cheap.

Universal standards. It is ridiculous to think each state must reinvent the wheel. Kids are kids no matter where they live. English lit in Indiana should be the same as in Texas. And US History damn well best be taught the same in the north as the south. Again, NO whitewashing!

You may not like it, but this country has a past that hardly lives up to the ideals we claim it does.

Get parents more involved but let's also remember educators are there for a reason and in most cases should not be the victims of backseat quarterbacking.

Parents, you have a choice. If you don’t like the curriculum, home school your children or send them to a school in which you share common values. But do not try to inflict your values on an entire school who might disagree with you. Remembering the old adage about dating someone where things just aren't working out. If you say, "it's not you. It's me." Believe me, generally speaking, it is you.

Sadly, we need safer schools. Bullying may not be a new phenomena but it has risen to a level where student suicides are up, up, up and our schools in many cases have not risen to the challenge of rooting it out.

Many of our children are caught in a catch-22. They want to go to school, they are afraid to go to school. Students cannot learn if they are scared for their lives.

Students also cannot learn if their basic needs at home are not being met. Our poorer students wonder from where their next meal might come… or if they even have a home to come to.

A child who worries about their lives after school will not be focused on their classroom lives in school.

Students, again, cannot learn if the hierarchy of needs outside the school are not being met.

Is this our schools’ job to fret over? Yes and no but we as a people must stop arguing over who is important and who is not. Easy answer: all of our children are important.

Having said that, I would be remiss if I did not mention protecting our gay, lesbian, transgender children. Gender issues must be protected at all cost.

You may notice I did not mention prayer in school. It is not a school’s to do so; it is not a teacher’s job either. You may not infer this being hostile to religion. Quite the opposite, in fact. Whose religious values are we to teach? It’s all or none and something tells me a good lot of Christians are not going to like Islam being promoted or visa versa.

Stop testing so damned much. It’s gotten so bad that even if teachers claim they are not, they really are teaching to the test (especially if their salary is tied to the results). That’s kinda like shuffling a deck of cards but putting them in the order you want them to be. Word up, testing is not the best predictor of success!

Let's face it, the best practices of our education system needs a mixture of old standards and new. I believe our nation needs to implement a program beyond the scale and scope of the Manhattan Project. If we truly believe our children are our future it’s time to put our money where our mouth is.

What do you think?

20Tonya Randall, Dennis Malloy and 18 others

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53 years

Today, Mom and Dad (stepdad) would have been married 53 years. I find I’m thinking of our family’s loss and as you can guess I miss them both. I know my family does too.

I have a story about the wedding photo I posted earlier today. The fact that it exists is only part of the story.

On this day in 1969, Mom and Gene stood nervously with my Grandparents Jim and Betty Roberson in their front yard. We kids were there. Mom’s two brothers Jim and Garry were there. My Aunt Vickie too.

It was a beautiful sunny July day.

Mom and Dad had wanted to be married the day before, but Pastor Drake was not available. So be it, the 5th was a great day.

I’ve often wondered how Dad felt that day. He had two kids (three actually but that is a story for another day) from his first marriage. Mom, on the other hand, had five kids (my brother Gene was born the next year). I’m sure he wondered, even if only privately, what he was getting himself into.

Anyone who knows our family knows the early years of their marriage was pretty tumultuous. Mom could be difficult. Dad could be too. At times they were oil and vinegar but somewhere along the line, through the years, life settled down, and they both were so devoted to each other.

We kids have amazing stories about them both. They raised eight kids. From us came thirteen grandkids, from them 24 great-grandchildren (soon to be a 25th). I can say they both were good parents and fantastic grandparents!

When they both passed this past year, I offered their eulogy to all who were at their funerals, to listen, to remember, and share our common love.

Oh yes. I mentioned the wedding photo. Our family has always been crazy about taking photos. Sadly, none of them exist anymore. For reasons I’d rather not go into, all of our photos were lost about eight years ago.

The box of photos Mom kept survived years and years and two house fires. Maybe that explains why Mom kept the photos in their truck. When their truck was stolen, and later recovered, the box was gone, never to be seen again. All our memories, lost.

After Dad died in March, my niece Lindsay’s husband Joe towed the family car away with plans to restore it. When Lindsay cleaned the interior she came across the photo, the one that had no right to exist, but it does!

My brother Gene sent the photo to me and so I share that treasure with you all today.

Mom, Dad, happy anniversary in heaven. We love you.

Love will prevail

 

Earlier today, my Aunt and I talked about a time when our country presented a kinder, gentler picture. I mentioned that I wasn’t so sure it was quite that rosy, but we did seem to be a bit less tense in an earlier day.

But let’s face it, the good old days were not good for everybody.

Tonight, a good friend of mine, a transgender woman, was taking part in a pride reading event at one of the local library branches when the hate group proud boys (I won’t dignify their importance by capitalizing their name) showed up and disrupted the event.

From what I have heard, they were loud, they were boisterous, they were crude and they were there to threaten and intimidate my friend and the other guests.

There were innocent children at this event, and I cannot imagine some of them (and their parents) were not frightened by this shameful bullying tactic. Before the police arrived, some of the parents gathered their children and fled. Who can blame them?

There is something wrong with people who have no moral compunction about frightening innocent families, not to mention the library staff and the guests of this event.

I certainly hope these men are the recipients of karma soon for anyone who goes out of their way to spread hate and fear are beneath contempt.

This must stop!

*shudder* They went and did it!

My first thought about yesterday’s horrendous Supreme Court ruling that overturned Roe v Wade is this: for all of you who just couldn’t bring yourself to vote for Senator Hillary Clinton in 2016, **ck you! Now look where we find ourselves. 

This same thought applies to the court’s ruling the day before regarding gun control. 

Thought number 2: vote! Vote consistently. Vote in local elections. Vote in state elections. AND vote in federal elections. Vote for the best candidates. You won’t be surprised that I will say vote Democrat. But voting alone is not enough. Attend government meetings. Attend school board meetings. Get involved. Write your leaders. Write often, always reminding them we are watching and that we vote. Again, voting alone is not enough. We must hold our leaders accountable! We must hold their feet over the coals (no, not literally). Example? When Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett were questioned for their confirmation hearings, our leaders treated the candidates with kid gloves. 

When asked their thoughts about Roe v Wade, all three said "the ruling was the law of the land."  I am sorry, that is NOT an answer! When questioned, Amy Barrett said she would not answer questions about hypothetical scenarios. Why the hell not? And why the **ck did our leaders let her get away with that??? 

We must be more aggressive (that does not mean violent) in our interactions with our elected leaders. It is more and more obvious our elected leaders (Republicans), and the judicial system, are not acting with our best interests in mind. Be a thorn, maybe even a pest! Get involved! 

Thought number 3: if you believed the Supreme Court Justices are non-partisan, you are naive. 

Thought number 4: Justice Alito, Justice Thomas, Justice Barrett, and maybe the rest of the conservative justices believe that if the Constitution does not implicitly word for word mention a right, it is then not a guaranteed protected right. Think about that. Think hard. Abortion is not mentioned in the constitution: a right to contraception is not mentioned; same sex marriage is not mentioned; owning an assault military style weapon was not something our founding fathers could ever have envisioned; multi-racial marriage is not mentioned; protections for our transgender children/citizens is not mentioned in our constitution. 

None of these aforementioned rights are implicitly mentioned. These Justices believe the Constitution is a static document, i.e., not a living, breathing document where added amendments are valid. 

Of course, the founding fathers would not have mentioned these things. Why would they? In the 18th century, wives were considered property of their husbands. Hell, when a husband died, the property, more often than not, went to the sons, not their wives. Blacks were property too. Native Americans were godless heathens and not true citizens. Homosexuality was an abomination and punishable by death. Our founding fathers would never have considered permitting mixed-race marriages, but those same men had no problem raping their females slaves. Don’t we have a delightful, pristine heritage? *sarcasm* 

And I cannot, for one instant, believe our founding fathers would be okay with our citizens having access to guns that can mow down dozens, if not hundreds, of people in the blink of an eye. If these strict interpretationalist justices prevail, we could be living in troubled times, my friends. 

Thought number 5: Supreme Court Justice Thomas wrote yesterday that he thinks the Supreme Court erred in its rulings regarding contraception, the right to privacy between intimate consenting adults (i.e., sex between same gender adults), and the right to same sex marriage. He even went as far as publicly saying the court should revisit these three rulings. Judge Samuel Alito says overturning Roe v Wade has absolutely nothing to do with same sex marriage. *wink* Ri-ii-ght. 

You don’t want to know what I think about these two privileged POS. 

Thought Number 6: Save one, yesterday's ruling overturning Roe v Wade was spearhead solely by men (except Amy Coney Barrett who is a religious zealot). Pro-lifers are all about saving a fetus, but afterwards when a mother needs help, *crickets* They are cruel beyond measure. I say stay the **ck out of other people's lives. It is none of your damn business! 

80% of children who live in a one parent home, live with their mothers. Where are the fathers? I don't think I would be wrong in saying a significant number of these children have limited equity. contact, if at all, with their fathers. Since it is a fact women earn something like 70 cents on the dollar compared to men. Women are automatically struck by inequities. Nearly 12 million American children live in poverty. 

Again, where are pro-lifers now? 

In some states, abortion laws are absolute. No exemptions. Rape, incest, no excuse. Too bad, too sad. Women are forced to carry that child. If a fetus is determined to developmentally unviable, tough. If a woman's life is in danger if she cares a fetus to delivery, again too bad. Abortion laws place an unfair burden on women. Let's not forget, men are necessary for a women to be impregnated, but men are rarely held accountable. 

Abortion laws are predicated on one thing, and one thing only. Men want control over women's bodies. Plain and simple. 

Thought Number 7: Term limits for Supreme Court Justices. Note: I even thought the wonderful (Notorious) RBG should have retired years earlier, and she was on my side. This thought applies to Congress as well.

Happy Mom's Day (in heaven)

I hope you will not mind a personal aside.

This Sunday will be the first Mother's Day I have faced without her. Similarly so, with Father's Day coming next month, I will face the same (I lost my Mom this past Labor Day and my Stepdad on March 23rd). I think about them both every single day.

I have had two Moms since I was 11 years old and two Dads since I was 12 (My Dad, my rock, died on March 23, 1985, when I was a college freshman), so in one regard, I am blessed.

Thankfully, my Stepmom remains alive and vibrant.

I apologize for being mawkish, but I want to impart on you all to celebrate this Sunday as we should every day with our beloved parents. You know, they're here, and then they're not (I do, however, believe that as long as they're in our memories, they are really only a smile away).

So... to all my family and friends who are Moms, I salute each of you. Enjoy your Mother's Day.